英文原文：My relationship with my PhD supervisor has become toxic — what do I do?

博士生求助信原文：

I am writing to ask for your advice because I am in crisis: I fear that my professional relationship with my supervisor has become toxic and irreparable. A huge problem for me is the complete lack of academic guidance. I feel that my research proposals are constantly being rejected. Worse, I often encounter extremely harsh remarks during this process. For example, my supervisor calls me “incompetent” and says I am “not even as good as a master’s student”. I receive no suggestions on how I should improve, which has caused my research attempts to hit a dead end repeatedly.

我寫信向你尋求建議，因?yàn)槲艺幱谖C(jī)之中：我擔(dān)心我與導(dǎo)師的職業(yè)關(guān)系已經(jīng)變得“有毒”且無法挽回。對(duì)我來說，最大的問題是完全缺乏學(xué)術(shù)指導(dǎo)。我的研究提案總是被否定，更糟的是，在這個(gè)過程中我還頻繁遭遇極其嚴(yán)厲的言語攻擊。比如，我的導(dǎo)師罵我“無能”，說我“甚至連碩士生都不如”。但我從來沒有得到過任何具體的改進(jìn)建議，這導(dǎo)致我的研究一次次陷入死胡同。

The constant psychological pressure and verbal abuse have had a devastating impact on my mental health. I have been formally diagnosed with severe depression and mild anxiety. I am now at a crossroads: I do not know whether I should stay silent, file a complaint, or simply drop out of my PhD programme.

持續(xù)的心理壓力和言語虐待，已經(jīng)對(duì)我的心理健康造成了毀滅性的打擊。我被正式確診為重度抑郁癥和輕度焦慮癥?，F(xiàn)在我站在人生的十字路口：我不知道自己該選擇沉默、投訴，還是干脆退學(xué)。

I am desperate for advice on how to navigate this toxic relationship with my supervisor.

我迫切需要建議，來應(yīng)對(duì)這段和導(dǎo)師之間的“有毒”關(guān)系。

Nature asked five experts in graduate education, mentorship and mental health for their advice on how to navigate this situation.

《Nature》邀請(qǐng)了5位來自研究生教育、導(dǎo)師指導(dǎo)和心理健康領(lǐng)域的專家，就如何應(yīng)對(duì)這種情況提供建議。

1. Prioritize your mental health, always（1. 永遠(yuǎn)優(yōu)先考慮你的心理健康）

Your well-being must come first, before your PhD, says Charlotte Rogers, head of the graduate school at the University of Exeter, UK, and author of *How to Get Your PhD*. “A PhD is a chapter in your life, not your whole life,” she says. “If the relationship is making you unwell, that is the priority.”

英國(guó)?？巳卮髮W(xué)研究生院院長(zhǎng)、《如何獲得博士學(xué)位》一書的作者夏洛特·羅杰斯表示，你的健康必須放在首位，比博士學(xué)位更重要?！安┦繉W(xué)位只是你人生中的一個(gè)篇章，不是你的全部人生，”她說。“如果這段關(guān)系讓你感到不適，那這就是首要需要解決的問題。”

The student should access their university’s counselling services immediately, Rogers says. Many institutions offer free, confidential support for students. They should also talk to trusted friends, family or peers, to break the isolation that often comes with toxic supervision.

羅杰斯說，這名學(xué)生應(yīng)該立即利用學(xué)校的心理咨詢服務(wù)。許多機(jī)構(gòu)都為學(xué)生提供免費(fèi)、保密的支持。他還應(yīng)該和信任的朋友、家人或同學(xué)交流，打破“有毒”指導(dǎo)通常帶來的孤立感。

“Stop blaming yourself,” Rogers adds. “The supervisor’s behaviour is their responsibility, not yours. Verbal abuse is never acceptable, no matter the context.”

“停止自責(zé)，”羅杰斯補(bǔ)充道?！皩?dǎo)師的行為是他們的責(zé)任，不是你的。無論在何種情況下，言語虐待都是不可接受的?！?/p>

2. Gather evidence and assess the situation（2. 收集證據(jù)，評(píng)估情況）

英文原文：Before taking any formal action, the student should document everything, says Soo Hee Kim, a psychologist and director of the Office of Graduate Student Life at the University of California, San Francisco. “Keep a detailed record of all interactions with your supervisor: emails, meeting notes, instances of verbal abuse, and the impact on your work and mental health,” she says. “This evidence will be critical if you need to escalate the issue.”

加州大學(xué)舊金山分校心理學(xué)家、研究生生活辦公室主任金秀熙表示，在采取任何正式行動(dòng)之前，學(xué)生應(yīng)該記錄下所有事情?！霸敿?xì)記錄你與導(dǎo)師的所有互動(dòng)：郵件、會(huì)議紀(jì)要、言語虐待的具體事例，以及這些事情對(duì)你的工作和心理健康造成的影響，”她說。“如果你需要將問題升級(jí)，這些證據(jù)將至關(guān)重要?！?/p>

The student should also assess whether the toxic behaviour is targeted at them, or a pattern across the lab. “Talk to other students in the group, confidentially, to understand their experiences,” Kim says. “This will help you determine whether it is a systemic issue with the supervisor, or a personal conflict.”

學(xué)生還應(yīng)該評(píng)估這種“有毒”行為是針對(duì)他個(gè)人，還是實(shí)驗(yàn)室里的普遍現(xiàn)象?！八较潞徒M里的其他學(xué)生交流，了解他們的經(jīng)歷，”金秀熙說。“這將幫助你判斷，這是導(dǎo)師的系統(tǒng)性問題，還是你與導(dǎo)師之間的個(gè)人矛盾?！?/p>

3. Try to set boundaries and communicate clearly（3. 嘗試設(shè)定邊界，清晰溝通）

英文原文：If the relationship is not beyond repair, the student should attempt a structured, professional conversation with their supervisor, says Rogers. “Go into the meeting with a clear agenda: outline your research progress, the specific challenges you are facing, and what support you need to move forward,” she says. “Be specific, not emotional. For example: ‘I need clear, actionable feedback on my research proposal by X date, so that I can progress my work’.”

羅杰斯說，如果這段關(guān)系還沒有到無法挽回的地步，學(xué)生應(yīng)該嘗試與導(dǎo)師進(jìn)行一次有條理、專業(yè)的對(duì)話?！皫е逦淖h程參加會(huì)議：概述你的研究進(jìn)度、你面臨的具體挑戰(zhàn)，以及你需要什么樣的支持才能繼續(xù)推進(jìn)研究，”她說。“要具體，不要情緒化。比如：‘我需要在X日期前，得到關(guān)于我的研究提案的明確、可執(zhí)行的反饋，這樣我才能推進(jìn)我的工作’?！?/p>

The student should also set clear boundaries around acceptable behaviour, Kim says. “If the supervisor makes abusive remarks, calmly but firmly say: ‘I cannot continue this conversation if you speak to me in that way’,” she says. “This establishes that you will not tolerate mistreatment.”

金秀熙說，學(xué)生還應(yīng)該為可接受的行為設(shè)定清晰的邊界。“如果導(dǎo)師發(fā)表侮辱性言論，要冷靜但堅(jiān)定地說：‘如果你用這種方式和我說話，我就無法繼續(xù)這場(chǎng)對(duì)話了’，”她說?！斑@能明確表明，你不會(huì)容忍虐待行為。”

4. Seek support from your university（4. 向?qū)W校尋求支持）

英文原文：If direct communication fails, the student should turn to their university’s formal support structures, says Rogers. Most institutions have a graduate school, ombudsperson or student advocacy office that can help mediate conflicts, or support a request to change supervisors.

羅杰斯說，如果直接溝通失敗，學(xué)生應(yīng)該向?qū)W校的正式支持機(jī)構(gòu)求助。大多數(shù)機(jī)構(gòu)都有研究生院、監(jiān)察員或?qū)W生權(quán)益辦公室，這些部門可以幫助調(diào)解矛盾，或者為更換導(dǎo)師的請(qǐng)求提供支持。

“Changing supervisors is a legitimate right for PhD students, and many universities have clear processes in place for this,” Rogers says. “The student should submit their evidence to the relevant department, and request a formal review of their supervision.”

“更換導(dǎo)師是博士生的合法權(quán)利，許多大學(xué)都為此制定了明確的流程，”羅杰斯說?！皩W(xué)生應(yīng)向相關(guān)部門提交證據(jù)，并請(qǐng)求對(duì)其指導(dǎo)情況進(jìn)行正式審查。”

In China, many universities have introduced regulations to protect PhD students’ rights, including the right to apply for a change of supervisor, says Li Wei, a professor of higher education at Peking University, who studies graduate student mental health. “The student should familiarize themselves with their university’s policies, and follow the formal procedure to file a complaint or request a transfer,” he says.

北京大學(xué)高等教育學(xué)教授、研究研究生心理健康的李偉表示，在中國(guó)，許多大學(xué)已經(jīng)出臺(tái)了保護(hù)博士生權(quán)利的規(guī)定，包括申請(qǐng)更換導(dǎo)師的權(quán)利。“學(xué)生應(yīng)熟悉所在大學(xué)的政策，并按照正式程序提交投訴或申請(qǐng)轉(zhuǎn)學(xué)（轉(zhuǎn)導(dǎo)師），”他說。

5. Consider leaving the programme, if necessary（5. 必要時(shí)，考慮退出項(xiàng)目）

If the situation cannot be resolved, the student should not hesitate to consider leaving the PhD programme, says Kim. “Staying in a toxic environment will only cause further harm to your mental health, and can have long-term consequences for your career and well-being,” she says.

金秀熙說，如果問題無法解決，學(xué)生應(yīng)該毫不猶豫地考慮退出博士項(xiàng)目。“留在‘有毒’的環(huán)境中只會(huì)進(jìn)一步損害你的心理健康，并可能對(duì)你的職業(yè)發(fā)展和身心健康造成長(zhǎng)期影響，”她說。

Leaving a PhD is not a failure, Rogers emphasizes. “It takes courage to recognize that a situation is not working, and to walk away,” she says. “There are many paths to a successful career, and a PhD is not the only one.”

羅杰斯強(qiáng)調(diào)，退出博士項(xiàng)目并不是失敗。“意識(shí)到一種情況行不通并選擇離開，這需要勇氣，”她說?！俺晒Φ穆殬I(yè)道路有很多條，博士學(xué)位并不是唯一的一條?！?/p>

For students who wish to continue their research, transferring to another university or lab is an option, but it requires careful planning, says Li. “The student should reach out to potential new supervisors, explain their situation, and seek support to transfer their research,” he says.

李偉說，對(duì)于希望繼續(xù)從事研究的學(xué)生來說，轉(zhuǎn)學(xué)到另一所大學(xué)或?qū)嶒?yàn)室是一個(gè)選擇，但這需要周密的計(jì)劃?！皩W(xué)生應(yīng)聯(lián)系潛在的新導(dǎo)師，說明自己的情況，并尋求支持以轉(zhuǎn)移自己的研究項(xiàng)目，”他說。

Final thoughts（總結(jié)思考）

Toxic supervision is a systemic issue that requires action from universities, not just individual students, the experts say. Institutions must implement mandatory mentorship training for supervisors, regular check-ins for PhD students, and clear, accessible processes for reporting and resolving conflicts.

專家們表示，“有毒”指導(dǎo)是一個(gè)系統(tǒng)性問題，需要大學(xué)采取行動(dòng)，而不僅僅是依靠學(xué)生個(gè)人。各機(jī)構(gòu)必須為導(dǎo)師提供強(qiáng)制性的指導(dǎo)培訓(xùn)，定期與博士生溝通，并建立清晰、易操作的投訴和沖突解決流程。

But for students in crisis, the priority is clear: protect your mental health, seek support, and know that you do not have to tolerate abuse.

但對(duì)于處于危機(jī)中的學(xué)生來說，優(yōu)先級(jí)很明確：保護(hù)好自己的心理健康，尋求支持，并記住——你不必容忍任何虐待行為。